I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. We got together when I was very young and it was not a good relationship for me – controlling, possessive and I beame very isolated and had very low self esteem. Before this time I was popular and happy. It was very volatile – lots of fights, breakups and reunions until i went overseas 5 years ago. In this year my partner realised he needed to change to keep me. When i came back we got back together – in part bc I had no support network here other than him. However he certainly had changed and was very committed to me and our relationship. For the next 3 years we proceeded on, and while the relatinoship was much better there was still a tendency for him to override my opinions. 1 year ago we started seeing a relationsip counsellor who has really helped us get our relationship back on track. We have both made a lot of changes and I feel that we now have a really trusting, caring and respsectful relationship. HOWEVER our wedding is in a few months and I am freaking out. I told my partner that i wanted to postpone and he has taken it really badly and is very hurt that he has made so much change only to have me say it isn’t enough and now he wants to end the relationship. SO now I am faced with the choice: get maried or break off an 11 year relationship – and now I am almost 30. What should I do? My reasons for postponing are two-fold 1) i am freaking out bc of our past although really i think i should be able to get over this but 2) in all this time i have only just recently started looking after my own needs and i feel like i have a lot of self-development to do to further this, which is really important to me. My partner doesn’t see why the wedding needs to obstruct this process. Interested in others thoughts on what I should do from here (break off engagement or go through with wedding). PLease help!